Quatela Chimeri, PLLC

Tough questions to ask before divorce

It's no doubt that divorce is a complicated and emotional undertaking. Marital issues preceding divorce may linger for years. You recognize that your marriage isn't working long before it ends. Whether a relationship is moving forward or backward at any given time may be hard to determine. The exact cause of divorce may be hard to pinpoint. Is there any clarity to be found?

While there may be intertwining factors that contribute to the divorce, there are questions you can ask yourself and your spouse before the process formally begins. Consider this - before you and your spouse got married, you probably had many heart-to-heart discussions about what you each saw in the future for both yourselves and your relationship.

The same discussions may be possible before divorce too. However, coming up with the right questions to ask can be tough when you're caught up financially and emotionally in a relationship, which is why guidance from a family law attorney can help you through the process.

Here are three questions to ask when considering divorce:

1. Is there a way to save the marriage?

Consider not only what your spouse needs to do to contribute to the relationship, but what you can do too. Like your relationships with clients and customers at work, people are often happier when their expectations about the process are managed effectively.

2. What are the financial considerations?

Financial considerations for divorce include:

  • Child support
  • Alimony
  • Split of business assets
  • Retirement accounts
  • Cost of living on your own

Untangling the years of building a financial future together can take some time, but a family law attorney will ensure the division of assets is done both equitably and legally. The split in assets probably won't be 50/50 equal, but it will be fair.

3. Are you worried about the stigma of divorce?

Going through the divorce process may feel like you are failing or drawing a social stigma upon yourself. However, instead of focusing on the potential downside of divorce, you can concentrate on the ways you are empowering yourself through the process like recommitting to intimacy or finding what's fair for both of you. 

Life as a divorcee or a single parent is not always easy, but taking the time to find what's best for you, your spouse and your children is worthwhile. Approaching divorce with a clearer idea of its considerations can leave you better prepared for the process.

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